Choosing Us: The Pierced Hearts Duet: Book One Read online

  I swallowed what felt like something mushy in my throat, slowly shaking my head no. Trying to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, like Momma showed me when I was scared.

  “Well, I work with kids and their parents, Aiden. I make sure kids are safe, having a place to live and getting everything they need. Do you understand?”

  I nodded because I couldn’t get the words out.

  “Can you tell me a little bit about what happened today?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Can you take me to see my mom? Please. I just want to see my mom.”

  For a second her eyes moved to the other people in the room before she said, “Aiden, I’m going to need you to come with us, okay?”

  “Are you going to take me to her?”

  “No, I’m not, but I will take you somewhere that has people who will take care of you.”

  I stepped back, getting away from her. “I don’t want to go with you, I want my mom. You’re not my mom. You can’t take me anywhere.”

  They taught us stranger danger in school. I knew all about it.

  “I know you want your mom, sweetie, but she’s…” She stopped talking, taking a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Aiden, but your mom is gon—”

  “NO!” I instantly covered my ears and shut my eyes as tight as I could. “I can’t hear you! I can’t see you! I want my momma! I want my momma! Get away from me and go get my mom! I want my mom! I hate you! I’m not going anywhere with you! I want my mom now!”

  Strong hands grabbed my wrists, yanking my hands away from my ears, and I lost it. Going after anything I could see in the office, I destroyed everything around me. I ran around the office, that I now saw was the hospital’s playroom, my feet stomping everywhere I stepped.

  Ripping pictures off the walls…

  Throwing toys out of the buckets…

  Shoving magazines off the tables…

  Screaming, “You’re not my mom! You’re lying! She’s not gone! She promised me she’d never leave! She promised me! Moms don’t leave! Moms aren’t supposed to leave!”

  My eyes were blurry from my tears, and my body was filled with so much hate.

  For them.

  For her.

  “I hate you! I hate you!” I yelled, repeating it over and over.

  “Aiden, calm down!” Misty ordered from somewhere in the room.

  “I want my mom!”

  “I know, honey, but your acting out doesn’t help with anything. Please calm down!”

  “I’m not going with you! Not now! Not ever!”

  Hands touched me again, carrying me up and holding me down onto someone’s shoulder.

  “Stop! Don’t touch me! You can’t touch me! I don’t want to go with you! I want to see my mom!”

  A huge sadness laid down on my heart.

  I felt lost.

  Like nothing or no one could help me find my way out.

  I kicked.

  I screamed.

  I fought.

  Trapped in the arms of a strange man I didn’t know.

  Being taken to a life I didn’t want.

  The man hurried out of the hospital with the nurse and Misty running beside him, and no one did anything. Like this was normal or just another day at the hospital where they took kids away from their moms daily.

  He opened the door, throwing me into the back seat of a car that was parked out in front. My body rolled around on the seat as the door slammed closed behind me.

  “Please! Don’t take me!” I reached for the handle, yanking it as hard as I could, but it was locked. “I don’t want to go! Please!”

  I kicked at the door, the window, the backs of their seats, but nothing helped.

  Nothing worked.

  “Mom! Momma! Take me with you! Just take me with you! You promised! You promised me that you would never leave me! It was you and me against the world!”

  It wasn’t until the car started driving away from the hospital that I knew my life would never be the same again.

  I had no one to take care of me.

  To love me.

  To make me feel like I was home.

  My saddest days were still coming.

  Because now…

  I was really alone.

  “Aiden—”

  I turned my face toward the window and shut my eyes, ignoring Misty who was in the front seat with the mean man driving.

  I hated him.

  I hated her.

  But mostly, I hated my mom.

  It didn’t feel like a long time had gone by, when I felt the car stop and the engine turn off. The last thing I remembered was kicking and screaming, then nothing. I must have fallen asleep, too tired to keep fighting. It didn’t matter anyway. I left my heart, my tears, everything back at the hospital with my momma.

  The car was quiet and dark, the moon and headlights were the only lights in the night as far as I could see.

  What will happen to me now?

  The door opened out of nowhere, making me jump, and the big man nodded for me to get out. “Come on, son, we’re here,” he said, reaching out his hand for me.

  “Where am I?” I asked, only looking at the tan house with a gate around it. Pushing his hand away, I stepped out onto the grass by myself. “This isn’t where I live.”

  Misty looked at the man the same way she did back at the hospital before getting down to my level.

  “Aiden, since your mom is gone, I can’t take you home. This is where you’ll be temporarily, until I can find you a permanent placement.”

  “What about all my stuff? My clothes, my toys, my games! Momma’s books, our pictures on the walls, my favorite pillow and blanket with Ninja Turtles on them… Momma bought them for me before she got sick! I want all my stuff! Please get my stuff. I promise I’ll be good! I won’t fight. I promise. I just want my stuff.”

  “I’m sorry, Aiden. I can’t do that. We’ll find you some clothes and toys here, alright?”

  “No!” I stomped my foot and tightened my hands. “It’s not the same! You can’t do this to me! You can’t take all my things away from me, like you took me away from my momma! I want my stuff, and I want it now!”

  “Aiden,” she whispered in a low voice, “I’ll try to grab some of your things for you, but I can’t make any promises, okay?”

  “But I want to go with you! Take me with you! I want to see my house! You won’t pick out the right things!”

  “Yes, I will. Tell me three things you want the most?”

  Was she lying?

  Could I trust her?

  Could I trust anyone?

  “Only three?” I replied, surprised.

  “I’ll try to grab as much as I can, but give me three items so I can at least grab those things for you.”

  I bowed my head, giving up. She wasn’t going to take me with her. She wasn’t even listening to me.

  Would my voice ever be heard again?

  “I want the picture that’s on my nightstand by my bed. It’s a picture of me and Momma from when I was little,” I told her, wiping a tear from my cheek. “She looks really happy. She was always really happy, Misty. Even after she got sick, she always tried to smile for me. Sometimes it looked like it hurt her, but she did it anyway. Do you think she is still in pain?” I asked the question I’d been holding in, remembering her cold skin on mine.

  A feeling that would never leave me.

  Misty grabbed my chin, making me look up at her with new tears in my eyes, as I sucked them back down.

  “What else?”

  “My Ninja Turtle blanket and pillow. I know that’s two things, but can they count as one?”

  “Yes, they can count as one.” She nodded. “Now name one last thing.”

  “Momma’s favorite book to read to me, On the Night You Were Born. She always read it to me at night time, to keep the monsters away.” I looked into her eyes. “Who’s going to keep them away now, Misty?”

  She frowned as if she could feel what I was fee
ling, never taking her sad eyes from mine. “Your momma is in Heaven.”

  “But Heaven is so far away.”

  “I’ll be here too.”

  “You will?”

  “Yes, Aiden. I’m going to request to take over your case and be your caseworker from here on out. I have some pull with my supervisor, and I know I can make it happen.”

  “Does that mean you’ll take care of me? I can stay with you?” I asked, needing someone to love me.

  Her bottom lip moved fast and her eyes watered, shaking her head at me. “No. You can’t stay with me, sweetie.”

  “But you just said—”

  “I know, but you don’t have to stay with me for me to take care of you. I’m going to place you in a good foster home, Aiden. I promise.”

  “But I don’t want to go anywhere else. I want to go with you. I’ll be a good boy, Misty. I promise. I’ll be a Little Man for you, like I was for my momma. Just take me with you. Please, Misty, just take me with you,” I begged for what felt like the millionth time that day.

  “Aiden, I can’t take you with me and do the work I do for other kids. But I do need you to be that Little Man like your momma taught you, okay? Can you do that for me? Can you do it for your momma in Heaven?”

  I ripped my face out of her hand. “I hate her. I don’t want to do anything for her.”

  “I know it feels that way now, but I promise it will get easier.”

  “When? When will it get easier, Misty? When you put me in a foster home I don’t want to be in? When I become someone else’s problem? And you forget all about me like Momma has. Is that when it will become easier? Because that doesn’t sound easier to me, Misty. It sounds harder!”

  “I know it does, but it will take time. I promi—”

  “I don’t believe you! You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me! You’re just trying to get me to do what you want! I’m not stupid!”

  “Aiden, I know you’re not stupid. I know you’re scared—”

  “I’m not scared. See … you don’t know anything. Let’s just go. I’ll follow you inside, so you can place me in a foster home where the monsters can find me.”

  “Aiden, that’s not—”

  “I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” I went around her and started walking toward my temporary placement like she called it.

  I didn’t need her.

  I didn’t need anyone.

  I’d take care of myself.

  Now and forever.

  It was only me.

  Chapter 3

  <>Aiden<>

  Then: Almost eight-years-old

  __________

  I spent the rest of the night pretending like I wasn’t there. Sitting in what Misty called “the common area” of the kid’s shelter, I ignored everything around me as she did my paperwork.

  “Here’s your dinner,” another woman said, placing a plate of food in my lap.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Hey, everyone!” the same woman called out, not listening to me. Bringing the other kids’ eyes over to us instead.

  “Everyone say hello to Aiden Pierce. He’s going to be staying here for a little while. I need everyone to make him feel welcome, alright?”

  I went back to ignoring everything and everyone around me, staring at my plate of food. It didn’t look like anything my mom ever made.

  I don’t know how much time went by before I heard, “So your name’s Aiden?”

  I looked up, seeing an older boy who was maybe twelve or thirteen-years-old standing there. Looking down at me like he had the right to.

  “How old are you?”

  I didn’t answer him. All I wanted was to be left alone.

  Why was that so hard for everyone to understand? Just leave me alone.

  But he went on. “Why are you in foster care?”

  I still didn’t say a word, and I could tell by the look on his face, he was getting mad at me.

  Screw him.

  Screw all of them.

  I hated this place.

  I hated everything about this day, about this boy, about the kids around me.

  I hated it all.

  The boy didn’t stop. He just stood taller, pushing his chest out in a big, bad, I’m better than you, sort of way.

  “Don’t you talk, or are you just stupid? Is that why you’re here? Your mom didn’t want to take care of her stupid son anymore?”

  My teeth tightened, and my body shook, wanting to wipe that stupid smile off his face.

  “Did your mom do drugs? Did she beat you? Why the fuck are you here, kid?”

  An angry feeling deep in my stomach took over.

  “I'm not looking for trouble. So back off,” I told him.

  “Oh… I know what happened now. Did she sell you?”

  My heart started beating really fast, and my hands got really sweaty. I knew something bad was about to happen, and for the first time, I didn’t care because all I wanted was my voice to be heard.

  Someone, please … just listen to me.

  “You’re a pretty fucking boy, so I bet she sold you. That’s it, right? Did she sell you for drugs? Or did she sell you for dic—”

  Before I knew what I was doing, I pushed my chair back and threw my plate of food in his face.

  I didn’t care he was bigger than me.

  I didn’t care that I was going to get in trouble.

  I didn’t care about anything other than shutting him up.

  “What the fu—”

  I ran my shoulder into his stomach as hard as I could, and he fell to the ground with me on top of him. The kids started hooting and hollering as we wrestled each other on the floor. It didn’t surprise me that I could keep up with him, everyone always said I was big for my age.

  “Break it up!” a man yelled from behind us, yanking me off the boy who looked like he was ready to kill me.

  Yeah, me too, bro.

  I shoved off the man I thought was the guard, and before anyone could say anything to me, I ran.

  Except this time, it was straight toward the back door.

  “Aiden, stop! Where are you going?” Misty yelled from somewhere in the room, but I ignored her too.

  Taking off into the yard where there was a playground, going for the first hiding spot I could find.

  Under the green slide.

  Where I finally, for the first time that day…

  Felt safe.

  I let out a breath. The one I’d been holding from the second I walked into this stupid foster place. Wanting so badly to just run away.

  Where would I go?

  Who would I find?

  What would happen to me?

  Even though I wanted to be left alone, I hated that I was by myself. With no one to talk to, no one to make me feel like everything was going to be alright. I had nothing but the lonely, afraid feeling in my heart.

  “Momma, why?” I quietly spoke out loud, hoping no one would hear me. “Why did you leave me all by myself? Who’s going to protect me and love me? Who’s going to be there for me? Who, Momma, who?”

  “I’ll share my dinner with you,” someone offered out of nowhere in the sweetest voice I’d ever heard.

  My eyes flew up, and I came face to face with a small, little girl with pretty, bright blue eyes standing over me. Holding onto her plate of food because it was the only thing she had to share, to give…

  Me.

  As if Momma had magically made her appear.

  Did she?

  “I don’t like to be by myself either. It really sucks, but I can come under there with you, and then we can hide from the mean boy together.”

  I didn’t know anything about girls, other than they whined and complained a lot. Especially the ones in my class at school. They were always telling on us.

  “You’re not going to tell Misty where I’m at?”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because you’re a girl.”

  She looked at me like I wa
s crazy. “Well, that’s not my fault. I can’t help that I’m a girl, God made me like this.”

  Maybe she wasn’t a tattletale because Momma knew I didn’t like tattlers, and she really did put her here for me. I guess that would make sense.

  “I’m not hiding,” I added, needing her to know.

  I don’t know why it bothered me, but I didn’t want her to think I was a little boy.

  I wasn’t.

  I’m a Little Man.

  And for some reason, I just sat there and stared at her. My body starting to feel warm and funny with each minute that went by.

  A smile appeared on her face, and it sparkled against the moon.

  “It’s okay to hide sometimes. I don’t like Troy either, he’s a bully and smells like a butthole. Donna is always yelling at him to go take a shower, saying he’s never going to be adopted smelling like that, but who would want to adopt a bully butthole.” She shrugged, and I busted out laughing.

  I laughed so hard my head fell back, forgetting all about the lonely feeling in my chest.

  “Well, aren’t ya gonna ask me to sit down?” she let out, putting her head to the side. Placing her free hand on her hip.

  Smiling wider.

  I opened my mouth to reply, to say something, anything, but nothing came out. The only sound I made were these noises coming from the back of my throat I’d never made before.

  She started giggling and wiggling and bouncing like she couldn’t wait for me to answer. It was then I saw she was missing her two bottom teeth. She was so weird and pretty all at the same time. No, she wasn’t pretty, she was beautiful. And she wasn’t laughing but giggling.

  Loudly.

  The sound took over everything around us, making it impossible to ignore. It was so catchy that I started laughing too, and I had no idea what I was laughing about. Only that I had to laugh with her, making my stomach feel tight again.

  “You’re cute! I like you. Now scoot over for me.”

  I did, only because I liked the way she made me feel, and I didn’t want her to leave me alone again. She sat right beside me as close as she could, leaving no room in between us.

  “I’m Bailey Button, by the way.”

  Her soft skin brushed against my arm, causing new bubbles in my stomach.

  What was that?