'Til The Last Lyric (Life of Debauchery Duet #2) Read online

  ‘Til The Last Lyric

  LIFE OF DEBAUCHERY DUET BOOK 2

  WALL STREET JOURNAL AND USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR

  M. ROBINSON

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  'Til The Last Lyric (Life of Debauchery Duet, #2)

  DEDICATION

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Dear Diary,

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Dear Diary,

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Epilogue

  DEDICATION

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Dear Diary,

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Dear Diary,

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Epilogue

  COPYRIGHT© 2020 by M. ROBINSON

  All rights Reserved.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity and are used fictitiously. All other characters, dead or alive, are a figment of the author’s imagination, and all incidents and dialogue are drawn from the author’s mind's eye and are not to be interpreted as real. Though several people, places, and events portrayed in this book are historically correct, the story is fiction that the author has made up for entertainment purposes only.

  LYRICS TO THE SONGS USED HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS.

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  COMPLICATE ME

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  EL DIABLO (THE DEVIL)

  ROAD TO NOWHERE

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  Chapter 1

  “If you stand for nothing you’ll fall for anything.”

  -Bob Dylan

  Cash

  Now: Thirty-years-old

  “Mmm...” I groaned in my sleep. My head fuckin’ pounded to its own beat, feeling as though my brain was about to explode. “Mmm...” I moaned again, trying to get my eyes to open to no avail.

  Rapidly, they fluttered a mile a minute until they finally won the battle against my scrambled mind. I willingly shoved away the sleepy haze and took in my surroundings. A cold, dark abandoned warehouse was the only thing in my sight.

  How the fuck did I get here?

  I sat up from the grimy, disgusting, worn-out mattress I was apparently sleeping on and grabbed ahold of my throbbing skull as if it would magically make the discomfort disappear. The smell of piss, shit, and God knows what else assaulted my senses.

  Filth everywhere.
r />   Walls covered in graffiti decorated every corner of the piece of shit building. Piles of trash, infested rats, and ghostlike junkies who appeared dead laid dormant around me.

  What the fuck?

  I was Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw, waking up with drug addicts like I was one of them. The last thing I remembered was feeling no pain, exactly the way I wanted. If only I could feel the same way all the time. Maybe then I wouldn’t find myself in circumstances like these, wishing I’d used better judgment.

  Goddamn it.

  I needed to get back to the tour bus.

  To my bandmates.

  To Journey.

  My June.

  I stood, stumbling to find my footing to remain upright. I was dizzy, tired, fuckin’ restless to the bone. Every sentiment hit me tenfold and blinded the hell outta me.

  What did you do, Cash? What the fuck did you do?

  My sunken eyes wandered down to where I was laying, taking in the pipe and needle on the dingy floor.

  Oh, God ... please no.

  Instantly, I rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie, desperately searching for the track marks on my arms. Breathing out a huge sigh of relief when I saw no such thing existed. I threw off my shoes next to check my toes.

  Nothing.

  I didn’t stop there. I inspected every inch of my body where I could have possibly shot up, coming up clean.

  Thank fuck.

  I was known to be careless, but the last thing I wanted was to share needles with these fuckers. Especially now that Journey was in my care. I made a mental note to get tested anyway, for her.

  With one foot in front of the other, I walked outta this hellhole. Tossing a few hundreds to the woman who was alone.

  “Thank you! Oh, my goodness, thank you! You’re an angel!”

  “I’m no such thing,” I replied to her. “Don’t spend it all on drugs. Get yourself some fuckin’ food.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you Cash Mc—”

  “No.” Throwing the hood over my head, I quickly left. Flying outta there faster than a bat outta hell. I called Beck from my cell phone.

  “Where the fuck are you?” he answered in a sharp tone.

  “Not a fuckin’ clue.”

  “Vince is going to fucking murder you,” he roared, referring to our manager.

  “Vince can suck my dick.”

  “Yeah, Tony’s going to love that,” he added, talking about the CEO of our record label.

  “They work for us, Beck. Not the other way around.”

  “Jude! How the fuck do I use my phone to find him again?!”

  “Shhh! You’re gonna wake up Junie!”

  “Oi! She’s what you’re worried about, you prick?!”

  “Beck, I mean it. Shut the fuck up!”

  “She went to sleep like three hours ago. Trust me, mate, I’m not going to wake her. She was waiting up for your arse, but I made her go to bed.”

  She was?

  My unsteady hands tugged the hair away from my face, holding it behind my head. “She pissed?’

  “No, you wanker. She’s fucking thrilled. Shitting rainbows and Skittles. Loves the fact you ran away and now we can’t find you.”

  “Found him,” Jude interjected. “Why the fuck are you there?”

  “Don’t ask. Just get here.”

  I hung up, slipping my phone into my pocket to tend to my splitting headache. Taking a seat on the curb, I lit up a cigarette and waited.

  Feeling as if I'd spent my whole life doing just that.

  With my face tucked between my knees, I sat there for I didn’t know how long contemplating if this was what death felt like. Until I heard the engine of our tour bus approaching. Silently praying Journey wasn’t awake yet. It pulled up right in front of me with the door already open. Ronnie, our driver, knew better than to say something to me as I stepped on.

  “Not now,” I demanded when I saw my bandmates eyeing me up and down.

  “We got a show tonight,” Stixx reminded.

  I nodded, making my way toward my room before they could say anything else. I’d deal with them later.

  Right now, all I wanted was a fuckin’ shower.

  My grasp trembled as I opened the door as quietly as possible, being extra careful not to wake Journey. Softly shutting it behind me, I turned to take in the beauty between my sheets. There she was, curled up in my bed, sound asleep. Her blonde hair fanned out over the pillows, the lull of her breath was music to my ears. A rhythm I could write lyrics to. A sliver of light reflected across her beautiful face, accentuating her perfect, pouty lips I admired from afar.

  She was the definition of perfection.

  Shaking off the emotions coursing through me, I strode into the en suite bathroom. Gently closing the door, I needed to wash away the previous night’s sins.

  I leaned over the sink, peering at my reflection in the mirror. Taking in my unruly hair, my deep, sunken eyes, and the unforgiving black circles beneath them.

  “What did you do, Cash? What the fuck did you do?” I questioned again.

  Unable to stomach my own face, I flipped open the medicine cabinet to pull out my pills. Swallowing them down with some faucet water, I still gagged from the shitty taste in my mouth from the night before.

  My body protested.

  My neck was sore.

  My head wouldn’t stop fuckin’ throbbing.

  It didn’t take long for the water to get cold, and I fought the urge to turn it off. I needed the sting to wake me up, even though sleep was the furthest thought from my mind. I gave in to the desire and turned the knob, putting an end to my self-detox. Grabbing a towel off the warmer, I wrapped it around my waist, taking a second to shake out my wet hair.

  Treading over to the sink to brush my teeth, I savored the taste of the minty paste. Anything was better than the stale aftertaste of last night’s transgressions. Splashing water on my face and taking one look in the mirror, I warily opened the door.

  Vigilant not to wake my sleeping beauty.

  I grabbed some jeans and another hoodie from my closet to the left of the bed. Throwing them on in the small space to ensure I wouldn’t startle her.

  My feet moved on their own accord, sitting on the couch where I’d been passing out in the wee hours of the morning ever since the moment she came back into my life.

  Except, I was usually shitfaced.

  I sat there and watched Journey sleep through dark, tainted eyes. I couldn’t help it. As always, the mere presence of her calmed me in ways nothing else ever did. Listening to her lax, restful breathing was my Zen. The sound bringing me peace. It filled the void in my heart just being near her. The scent of her hung heavy in the room, only fueling the fire inside me to make her mine. It was such a reckless longing. She was supposed to be the little girl I left behind.

  Yet, here she was.

  Looking like everything I’d ever wanted.

  Sleeping in my bed, wearing the dress I requested. Despite it being black, she was still the only angel in the abyss of my world.

  Her beauty spellbound me.

  Her innocence enthralled me.

  But it was her kindness, her heart, her soul that spoke to me the most.

  She was glowing.

  Serene.

  Fuckin’ breathtaking.

  The sun slowly started appearing through the window, each ray of light falling across her gorgeous face.

  Provoking me.

  Awakening me.

  Making me feel emotions I shouldn’t when it came to her.

  My core seized up more and more the longer I watched her. Tightening like a vise.

  More guilt.

  More memories.

  More. More. More.

  I battled the yearning to hold her. To tell her how much she still meant to me, to show her the effect she now had on me. I did none of those things. Instead, I waited for her to wake up, not knowing what for.

  Within the next couple of minutes, her eyes began fluttering open. She
blinked, and our gazes locked for the first time in what felt like forever. She breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, seeing me there with her. A look of confusion and sadness on her face, silently wanting to know where I’d been. There was no point in lying to her. I would show her everything she wanted to see and know.

  The broken man behind the music.

  Before either of us could speak, she began crying, and I rushed toward her.

  “Fuck,” I exclaimed, cradling my hands on her face. “Don’t cry for me, Junie. Please don’t cry for me.”

  “Where did you go?” she wept.

  With my calloused thumbs, I wiped away her tears. “Junie, please...” I begged, hanging on by a thread.

  I’d spent over a decade numbing my emotions. This was all so foreign to me. However, for her, I welcomed it.

  She lost it, bawling hysterically. Her body shaking uncontrollably with each sob. In one sudden movement, I tugged her onto my lap without hesitation. Wrapping her legs around me, I hugged her as close as I could against my chest.

  “Shhh ... darlin’, shhh ... it’s alright. I’m here ... shhh...”

  My internal struggle was evident in my embrace, in my voice, in the way I was trying to comfort her. Needing to feel her warmth.

  Her love.

  Her bleeding heart.

  Out of nowhere, she blurted, “I know why you left.”

  Knocking me completely...

  On my ass.

  Chapter 2

  “You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.”

  -Janis Joplin

  Cash

  I instantly froze, unaware of what to expect, of where she was going with this. Although, I was fully aware no good could come of it.

  “I shouldn’t have left my phone behind. I should have been more careful. I didn’t know she’d be calling.” She was the first to pull away, peering into my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Cash.” Our stares never wavered from each other as she told me her truth. “I know. I’ve always known.”

  Known what? What do you know, Junie? That I’m a piece of shit who abandoned his family when they needed him the most?

  I didn’t respond. I didn’t even think I was breathing.

  “No one told me. No one had to. I knew it the first time I held her in the hospital, right after she was born. She was you, Cash McGraw.”

  I grimaced, my eyes brimming with fresh tears. I’d always felt this connection to Journey. I just never imagined it would be this powerful, this overwhelming, this soul-shattering feeling in every sense of the word.